Learning to "show, don't tell" is what breathes life into your writing. It's the secret ingredient that turns a flat narrative into a three-dimensional world. Instead of just telling your reader a character is sad, you show them the tremor in his voice, the slump of his shoulders, and the way his gaze fixes on a single scuff mark on the floor. You're no longer just a narrator; you're a guide, letting the reader live the story right alongside your characters.
Why Showing Is a Non-Negotiable Skill for Authors
Let's cut to the chase: mastering the art of showing is what separates a compelling manuscript from one that an agent or editor sets aside after the first few pages. So many writers have brilliant ideas, but they fall into the trap of telling the reader facts instead of inviting them into a rich, sensory world.
The goal is to let your audience figure things out for themselves. Let them deduce the fear, the joy, or the tension through a character's actions, a snippet of dialogue, or a carefully chosen detail. It’s the difference between saying "the room was scary" and describing how the floorboards groaned underfoot while a draft snaked across the floor, cold enough to raise goosebumps. One creates distance; the other creates an experience.
The Impact on Your Manuscript
The "show, don't tell" rule isn't just friendly advice—it's one of the most common reasons manuscripts get rejected. Talk to any editor, and they'll tell you that "too much telling" is a major red flag. In fact, rejections based on excessive telling are roughly twice as common as those citing a failure to connect with the characters. It's a fundamental flaw that's hard to overlook.
"Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass."
— Anton Chekhov
Chekhov's famous line says it all. It’s a challenge to every writer to dig deeper, to move past lazy descriptions and find the specific, concrete images that make a moment feel real. This skill is a pillar of storytelling, just as crucial as understanding the other essential literary elements that build a strong narrative. You can read more about those here: https://barkerbooks.com/what-are-the-literary-elements/
To help you spot the difference in your own work, here’s a quick breakdown of what to look for.
Telling vs Showing At a Glance
This table cuts through the noise and shows you the core differences between the two approaches. Think of "telling" as giving a summary and "showing" as creating a scene.
| Characteristic | Telling (The Abstract) | Showing (The Concrete) |
|---|---|---|
| Pace & Rhythm | Fast, summarizes events, moves time quickly. | Slower, immerses the reader in a specific moment. |
| Reader's Role | Passive observer, being told what to think and feel. | Active participant, interpreting clues and feeling emotions. |
| Language Used | Relies on abstract nouns and adjectives (love, sad, angry). | Uses strong verbs, sensory details, and specific imagery. |
| Focus | Stating a character's emotions or traits directly. | Revealing emotions through dialogue, actions, and reactions. |
| Example | "He was terrified." | "His breath hitched, and he took a stumbling step back." |
Seeing the comparison laid out like this makes it easier to self-edit. You start to recognize when you've taken a shortcut by telling, and you can go back and paint the picture instead.
Mastering this skill makes your prose more powerful and dramatically improves your odds of success. Of course, once you've honed your craft, you'll need a plan for what comes next. For many authors, that means thinking about publishing your book on Amazon.
Ultimately, showing respects your reader’s intelligence. It trusts them to connect the dots you’ve laid out, making the final picture far more rewarding. When you prioritize action, sensory input, and subtext, you create a story that stays with someone long after they've turned the final page. That’s the mark of a truly skilled author.
Engage the Five Senses to Build Immersive Worlds
The first piece of advice every writer gets about "show, don't tell" is to use the five senses. It's solid advice, but it's just the tip of the iceberg. Truly immersive writing doesn't just tick off a checklist of what a character sees, hears, or smells. It weaves these details into the very fabric of the story to build a world, reveal character, and push the narrative forward.
Think of yourself less as a reporter and more as a film director. You're not just describing a room; you're crafting an atmosphere. Every detail, from the color of the light to the distant background noise, is a deliberate choice made to evoke a specific feeling in your audience.
The Power of Sight Beyond Description
Sight is usually our go-to sense, but it’s easy to get lazy and just list what’s in the room. Great writing curates what the character notices. You’re not creating a complete inventory; you’re filtering the world through your character’s unique point of view.
An artist might be drawn to the subtle ochre undertones in a peeling brick wall, while a detective’s eyes snap to the single muddy footprint by the door. What you choose to show tells the reader what matters to your character in that specific moment.
You can also use a color palette to paint the mood. A scene drenched in blues and grays feels entirely different from one filled with warm yellows and oranges, even if the action is identical. It’s a subtle trick that colors the reader's emotional response without you ever having to write, "The mood was somber."
Sound and Its Strategic Absence
Sound is a fantastic tool for cranking up tension and grounding the reader in a location. The wail of a distant siren places us in a city apartment; the rhythmic plink… plink… plink of a leaky faucet tells us we're in a neglected, silent house. These aren’t just background effects; they’re story elements.
But sometimes, the most effective sound is no sound at all.
A sudden, jarring silence can be more terrifying than a loud explosion. Imagine your character shouts in a cave and hears no echo, or the constant chirping of crickets abruptly cuts out. That absence of expected sound screams "danger" far louder than telling us the character felt scared.
The Nuances of Touch and Temperature
Touch is arguably our most intimate sense. It plugs the reader directly into a character's physical reality, letting you show comfort, pain, or disgust without ever needing the words themselves.
Don't just state the texture of an object. Show its effect.
- Telling: The blanket was rough.
- Showing: The coarse wool of the blanket scratched at her chin, a constant, irritating reminder of her new reality.
The same goes for temperature. A sudden chill running through a room can hint at a ghostly presence or a character's dawning dread. The radiating warmth of a coffee mug against cold hands can provide a small anchor of comfort in a chaotic scene. These details make your world feel tangible.
Smell and Taste as Memory Triggers
Smell and taste are wired directly to memory and emotion, which makes them incredibly potent storytelling tools. You can use them to unpack backstory and reveal deep-seated character traits without ever resorting to an info-dump. The scent of cinnamon, for instance, might instantly transport a character back to their grandmother's kitchen, showing us a hidden longing for safety.
- Smell: The cloying sweetness of cheap perfume still hanging in the elevator.
- Taste: The metallic tang of blood blooming in his mouth after the fight.
- Combined: The smell of rain on hot asphalt, thick with the taste of exhaust fumes.
These specific, evocative details do more than just describe. They anchor the reader in a physical reality and can unlock layers of memory and meaning, creating a much richer, more profound connection to your story and characters. Mastering how to show, not tell, is all about layering these sensory details until your world becomes a place your readers can truly step into.
Reveal Your Characters Through Action and Body Language
While sensory details are fantastic for building your world, it's a character's actions and body language that truly build them. Think of action as the engine of your story. It reveals personality, motive, and emotion in a way that no descriptive label ever could.
Ultimately, readers connect with what characters do, not what an author tells us they are.
Don't just say a character is nervous; show them gnawing on a thumbnail until it's raw. Instead of telling us someone is arrogant, let us watch them interrupt others and check their reflection in the back of a spoon. This is the heart of showing—translating abstract traits into concrete, observable behaviors.
Trade Adjectives for Action
One of the most common traps writers fall into is leaning on adjectives and adverbs to do the heavy lifting. Phrases like "she was angry" or "he walked sadly" tell the reader exactly how to feel, short-circuiting their chance to interpret the scene for themselves.
The fix? Swap those lazy labels for dynamic, physical actions.
Take a moment and think about the physical reality of an emotion. What does anger actually look like?
- Telling: She was furious.
- Showing: Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the edge of the table. A muscle jumped in her jaw.
How about heartbreak?
- Telling: He was heartbroken.
- Showing: He stared at the rain-streaked window, his shoulders slumping as if carrying an invisible weight.
By grounding the emotion in a physical reality, you invite the reader into the scene to witness it firsthand. They aren't just being told about a feeling; they're seeing the evidence right alongside the character.
Actions are a character's résumé. They prove who that person is in the moment, offering tangible evidence that readers can trust far more than a simple declaration from the narrator.
You have to start thinking like a filmmaker. Focus your "camera" on the small, telling details that breathe life into a character.
Let Body Language Do the Talking
We communicate constantly with our bodies, often betraying feelings we’re trying to hide. Weaving in body language is a brilliant way to add layers of subtext and hint at a character's true internal state. A slight gesture, a shift in posture, or a fleeting facial expression can say more than a whole page of internal monologue.
The real magic happens when you create a contrast between what a character says and what their body does. A character might insist, "I'm fine," but their actions scream otherwise.
- They avoid eye contact, picking at a loose thread on their sleeve.
- They tap a frantic rhythm against their coffee cup with one finger.
- Their smile is tight, and it never quite reaches their eyes.
These little details show the reader the truth without the narrator ever needing to state it. This creates a much richer reading experience, making the reader feel clever for picking up on the subtle cues you’ve laid out for them.
Use Specific Verbs and Unique Mannerisms
Ready to take it up a notch? Focus on two key areas: active verbs and unique mannerisms. Strong, specific verbs inject energy and precision into your prose, while unique mannerisms make your characters feel distinct and unforgettable.
1. Choose Powerful Verbs
Ditch the generic verbs and swap them for ones that carry their own imagery and meaning. A character doesn't just "walk" across a room; they can stride, shuffle, creep, stomp, or saunter. Every single one of those words paints a radically different picture of their mood and personality.
| Weak Verb (Telling) | Strong Verb (Showing) |
|---|---|
| He looked at her. | He glared at her. / He gazed at her. |
| She closed the door. | She slammed the door. / She eased the door shut. |
| He ate his food. | He devoured his food. / He picked at his food. |
2. Develop Character-Specific Tics
Give your characters small, recurring habits—the little things that make them feel like real people with their own histories and anxieties. A well-chosen mannerism can reveal backstory, personality, or internal conflict without a single word of exposition.
- A former soldier who always sits with his back to the wall.
- A meticulous lawyer who can’t stop herself from straightening any crooked picture frame she sees.
- A shy artist who constantly pushes her hair out of her face.
These consistent actions build character over time, creating a powerful shorthand with your reader. When you show that lawyer entering a chaotic room and immediately adjusting a tilted painting, you’ve reinforced her need for order in a single, potent image. And that, right there, is the essence of showing character through action.
Let Your Dialogue Do the Heavy Lifting
It’s so easy to slip back into "telling" when characters start talking. Dialogue can quickly become a sneaky shortcut for info-dumping or having a character spell out their emotions. But when it's done right, dialogue is one of the most powerful tools you have for showing what's really going on.
Think about how people talk in real life. We almost never say exactly what we mean. We dodge, we hint, we talk around things, and sometimes we flat-out lie. Your characters should do the same. This dance around the truth is called subtext, and it’s the secret ingredient to making dialogue feel real and compelling.
The Unspoken Power of Subtext
Subtext is the real conversation happening just beneath the surface. It’s the tension you can slice with a knife, even when the words being spoken are perfectly ordinary. Mastering this is key to showing emotion through dialogue.
Let’s look at a simple example.
- Telling: "I'm angry with you for being late," she said.
- Showing (with subtext): "The food's cold," she said, not looking up from her plate as he slid into his chair.
See the difference? The second one hits so much harder. The line "The food's cold" isn't really about the meal. It's loaded with his tardiness, her disappointment, and the growing emotional gap between them. The reader feels the chill in the room and gets to piece together the anger themselves, which is always more satisfying.
Subtext turns your readers into detectives. When you make them read between the lines to figure out what a character truly feels, you pull them deeper into the emotional core of the scene.
Give Every Character a Unique Voice
A character's voice is a goldmine for showing who they are. The words they pick, the slang they use (or don't use), and the rhythm of their sentences can tell us everything about their background, personality, and mood without a single word of narration.
Imagine three different characters trying to say the same thing:
- The Professor: "The preliminary data appears to suggest a statistical anomaly that warrants further investigation."
- The Teenager: "Dude, something's seriously weird with these numbers."
- The Hard-Boiled Detective: "This doesn't add up. Not by a long shot."
Each line is dripping with personality. We don't need the narrator to tell us one is formal and another is casual; we can feel it in their words. This is showing at its most efficient. If you want to dig deeper into crafting distinct voices, these dialogue writing tips for authors are a great place to start.
Weave in Action Beats to Ground the Scene
Dialogue never happens in a sterile, white room. Your characters are somewhere, doing something, even if it's just nervously tapping a pen. These little physical actions are called action beats, and they are absolutely vital. They break up chunks of speech, ground the conversation in a physical space, and reveal inner feelings a character might be trying to hide.
Let's see how it transforms a scene.
Telling (Dialogue only):
"You can't leave," he said.
"I have to," she replied. "There's nothing for me here anymore."
"That's not true," he pleaded.
Showing (With Action Beats):
"You can't leave." He stepped in front of the door, his hand flat against the wood.
She zipped her suitcase, the sound unnaturally loud in the quiet room. "I have to. There's nothing for me here anymore."
"That's not true." His voice cracked, and he reached for her arm, then let his hand fall limp at his side.
The action beats make all the difference. Blocking the door shows his desperation. The harsh sound of the zipper highlights her resolve. His failed attempt to touch her speaks volumes about their broken connection. These physical details turn a flat exchange into a dynamic, heart-wrenching moment. Combine them with sharp subtext and a distinct character voice, and your dialogue will become one of the most effective tools in your storytelling arsenal.
A Practical Revision Plan for Your Manuscript
This is where the real work—and the real magic—begins. Shifting your first draft from telling to showing is what revision is all about. Don't worry about getting it perfect right out of the gate. Think of your first draft as the raw clay; now it's time to start sculpting.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to become a detective. You’re hunting for those moments where you took a shortcut and told the reader something instead of letting them experience it. By breaking it down, this overwhelming task becomes a series of targeted, manageable improvements.
Hunt for Filter Words
A fantastic place to start is by searching for filter words. These little words sneak in and create distance, filtering the story through a character's perception instead of letting the reader experience it directly. They’re a huge red flag for telling.
Keep an eye out for these common culprits:
- Felt: Instead of "She felt sad," show her shoulders slumping, her lower lip trembling.
- Saw: Rather than "He saw a car speeding away," describe the shriek of tires on pavement and the flash of red tail lights vanishing around the corner.
- Knew: "She knew it was a mistake" is weak. Show us her stomach twisting into a painful knot as her hand hovers over the doorknob.
- Realized: Don’t say, "He realized he was lost." Show him spinning in a slow circle, the familiar landmarks gone, replaced by an unnerving silence.
Every time you spot one, challenge yourself to rewrite the sentence. Get rid of the filter and put the reader right inside the character's skin. This kind of focused editing is a major part of the line editing process, where every single word is weighed to make the prose stronger.
Target and Dismantle Exposition Chunks
Alright, detective, your next target is the dreaded "info-dump." Scan your manuscript for big blocks of text that just explain things—backstory, world-building, a character's entire psychological profile. These passages bring the story’s momentum to a screeching halt.
The solution isn't to just delete the information. It’s to shatter those chunks and weave the pieces into the story naturally.
An info-dump lectures the reader. Showing invites them to discover the same information through dialogue, action, and setting, letting them connect the dots themselves.
For instance, that long paragraph explaining your hero's lifelong fear of water? Cut it. Instead, show him freezing at the edge of a pier, his knuckles bone-white as he grips the railing. Maybe another character says something that hints at a traumatic event from his past. It's far more powerful.
Prepare for Word Count Expansion
Here's something you need to be ready for: learning how to show not tell in writing will almost certainly make your manuscript longer. A lot longer.
When you replace a single telling sentence ("He was angry") with a full-bodied paragraph of sensory details, actions, and dialogue, your word count naturally climbs. Don't panic! This is a good sign. It means you’re adding the depth and texture your story needs.
It's completely normal for a draft to grow by 20,000 to 40,000 words during this stage. That 60,000-word first draft can easily blossom into a more robust, industry-standard novel. This isn't just padding the manuscript; it’s giving your story the substance it needs to truly come alive.
Look, for all the ink spilled over "show, don't tell," it’s not some unbreakable commandment of writing. The real mark of a seasoned author is knowing exactly when to flip the script and just tell the reader what's happening.
Strategic telling isn't a weakness; it's a powerful tool for controlling your story’s pacing and keeping your reader glued to the page.
Not every single moment of your character's life needs a full-blown, five-sense cinematic scene. Sometimes, a quick summary is exactly what the story needs to keep moving.
Bridging Time and Shifting Scenes
Telling is indispensable when you need to leap across a stretch of time where nothing plot-critical occurs. Imagine trying to show every single workout in a two-year training montage. Your reader would be bored to tears.
A single sentence does the job far more effectively:
- Telling: The next two years were a blur of grueling training sessions and sleepless nights studying ancient texts.
This gets you straight to the action without the fluff. It's also perfect for transitioning between scenes, giving the reader a quick anchor so they aren't thrown by a sudden jump in location or time.
Dropping in Essential Information
Every now and then, you just need to give the reader a crucial bit of information to raise the stakes. While you definitely want to avoid massive info-dumps, a quick, well-placed "tell" can deliver the necessary context without grinding the story to a halt.
Think of telling as a narrative shortcut. When you use it wisely, it keeps the story tight and respects the reader's intelligence. But lean on it too heavily, and you'll yank them right out of the world you’ve worked so hard to create.
It's interesting, though—for all its fame, there's no hard data proving that strictly following "show, don't tell" gets manuscripts accepted. The publishing industry tracks sales and business metrics, not the nitty-gritty reasons for early rejections, which leaves a bit of a statistical blind spot.
If you're curious about this data gap in the industry, you can find additional details about industry statistics here. This really drives home the point that while the advice is solid, its measurable impact is hard to pin down.
Ultimately, the best writers know that both showing and telling have their place in the toolbox. The real art is knowing which one to pick up for the job at hand.
A Few Common Sticking Points with Showing vs. Telling
As you start to put these ideas into practice, you're bound to run into a few tricky spots. That’s perfectly normal. Learning to navigate the gray areas between showing and telling is just part of getting better at the craft. Let's tackle some of the most common questions that pop up.
A big one is always about balance: how much detail is too much? It’s easy to get carried away and over-describe everything.
The secret is to be selective. You don’t need to catalogue every single speck of dust on the mantlepiece. Instead, focus only on the details your point-of-view character would genuinely notice—the ones that say something about their state of mind, move the plot forward, or build a specific atmosphere. If a detail isn't doing one of those jobs, it’s probably just noise.
What About Internal Thoughts?
Another big hurdle is figuring out how to convey a character’s internal world without just saying, "He thought…" or "She realized…" This is where showing really gets to flex its muscles. You can pull the reader into a character's head by focusing on their physical reactions and small, telling actions.
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Showing Anxiety: Instead of writing, "She was worried about the presentation," show her pacing the empty hallway. Describe her muttering lines under her breath, her fingers constantly smoothing a wrinkle in her shirt that isn't even there.
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Showing Realization: Don't just say, "He realized the killer was his friend." Instead, show his eyes widening as he stares at the familiar, loopy handwriting on the threatening note. His breath catches in his throat. The paper slips from his suddenly numb fingers.
These kinds of physical actions make the internal process visible, letting the reader experience the dawning horror right alongside the character.
Remember, the goal isn't to get rid of telling entirely. Think of showing as your go-to tool for building those immersive, emotionally powerful scenes.
Won't All This Showing Slow Things Down?
Yes, it often will—and that’s not a bad thing! Showing forces the reader to slow down and live inside a specific moment, soaking in all the sensory details and emotional weight. It's the perfect technique for high-stakes scenes, like a tense confrontation or a major plot twist.
But what about when you need to jump ahead a few hours or cover a long journey? That’s when a little bit of telling becomes your best friend. It’s the right tool for moving the story forward efficiently.
If you'd like to dive deeper into the nuts and bolts of writing, you can always explore more writing craft discussions and find new perspectives. At the end of the day, mastering showing and telling is about building your own internal compass for when to zoom in for a close-up and when to pull back for the wide shot. It gives you total control over your story’s rhythm.
Ready to bring your story to life and share it with the world? At BarkerBooks, we provide end-to-end publishing support, from professional editing that perfects your prose to global distribution that finds your readers. Let us help you turn your manuscript into a professionally published book. Learn more at https://barkerbooks.com.